There is a widespread belief out there that feeling negative feelings is a big no-no. That feeling angry, down, or any other emotion which isn’t shiny and happy is a shameful thing which means that we are off course. How many times have you been made to feel guilty for your feelings? I know that it has happened plenty of times to me. The thing which upsets me about this is that I fell for the myth that I was somehow spiritually lacking because of my thoughts.
Yes, it is a myth. It is perfectly normal to feel angry or upset when someone betrays or hurts us. It is also normal to feel sad when we experience losses or face situations in which we are helpless. The line between experiencing our feelings and being negative is how long we linger in those emotions, as well as what we do with them. Learning how to be fully human in a healthy way is a big part of shadow work, and while I won’t tell you that it’s easy, I will tell you that it is possible.
It can be difficult to integrate these feelings into our lives for many reasons. A large number of us were taught as children that it was “bad” to express our anger by our parents, and even our spiritual leaders. We are told over and over, in various ways and contexts that we are failing if we aren’t happy all the time. After years and years of guilt, many people finally realize that this can’t be entirely true.
As a result of that realization, they go in search of answers and help. After all, a person can only survive under such a heavy burden for so long before something has to give. Going on the quest for our truth can present new challenges, because we are fairly vulnerable when in this transition phase. As terrible as it seems, there are people out there who prey upon those in this situation. They claim to have programs and courses which will help a person find the answers, and more importantly…find themselves. This in and of itself isn’t a bad thing. There are a lot of great programs out there!
Where it can go a little wonky is if those people prey upon your guilt when you express a reality. Some programs are very expensive, which also isn’t bad because many of them are well worth every penny. The problem that happens sometimes is that when a person expresses that they truly cannot afford the cost of a program at the moment, they are accused of being negative…or told that their own negative energy is creating their situation of lack. Do people really do that to each other? Sadly, yes.
While it is true that energy does attract like energy, it isn’t true that using your rent money to pay for a class makes you more enlightened than someone who says that they cannot take the class right now. The solution in this situation is to put the energy out there for the way to get the money that you need to take the class out there, and to do something about it. Staying stuck and believing that you will never get ahead does create the ideal situation for that to come true, while being realistic about your situation and then seeking a solution will create momentum in the other direction. See the difference?
Helping people to see these differences and create constructive ways to express themselves and create solutions is a core element to what Sisters In The Shadows is about. While wallowing in the negativity of can’ts and shouldn’ts is far from constructive, so is wallowing in guilt at feeling very human emotions and being realistic. We are here to help others to find balance, healthy expression of emotion, and real solutions for themselves. Be on the lookout for more articles soon, as well as programs which are in the works to assist in working through this issue and many more. Let’s shed the guilt and find our comfort zones shall we?